


Back and Forth

by braytray



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Dialogue Heavy, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, also i think magnus was such a dick in these episodes, i love Cat, like so much dialogue???, so cat puts him in his place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 15:40:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18101483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braytray/pseuds/braytray
Summary: Max doesn't live through the procedure, so Catarina convinces Magnus to go fix things with Alec.  Jace is protective, but knows that Magnus is good for Alec.





	Back and Forth

Magnus was halfway through his second drink when someone started pounding on his door and shouting loudly. "Magnus Bane, open this door right now!" Catarina's voice was unmistakable, even when she was angry.  To be this upset was so uncharacteristic of her that it startled Magnus, and he waved his hand to open the door without thinking.

"Cat, what's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know if you're being cruel on purpose or if you're just stupid, but it's sure as hell one of them." Magnus was taken aback, and he stood up to face Cat.  He had never seen Cat as angry as this.

"Where is this coming from?"

"You are angry at Alec when you have very little reason to be.

"He lied to me, Cat!" Magnus bristled, putting his drink down with a thud. "About something that could kill every Downworlder if Valentine has it, when we agreed that there would be no more secrets."

"He is the one who was lied to, he thought they _did_ have the Soul Sword until his father told him the truth.  He knew he would be betraying the Clave and his father if he told you the truth, and he didn't know what to do." Cat scoffed. "I'm sure he would have told you that if you just _listened to him_."  Magnus bit his lip.  He didn't know that, and he felt guilt roiling in his stomach.  He knew Alec had been groomed to be the perfect Clave soldier his whole life, and it had taken him so long to break that mold.  Making that decision must have been killing Alec inside all that time.  He was also fiercely loyal to his family, so being confronted with the decision to betray his father's trust must have been horrible.

"I didn't know that." He sat down, and he must have looked pitiful, because Cat's face softened and she sat next to him.

"He needs you, Magnus.  Max didn't survive the procedure." Magnus looked up sadly.  He didn't know Max well, but the death of anyone that young was always a tragedy. "Before Max passed, Alec called me to see if I could help save him.  I couldn't, but when I asked why he didn't call you, and he said he didn't think you'd come."

Magnus shook his head, eyes wide. "I would've.  Of course I would've."

"I know that.  And I know you still love him, and he loves you.  He's devastated, and we both know he won't slow down to properly mourn unless someone makes him.  It has to be you." Magnus sighed, clenching his hands as he nodded.  He knew he had to swallow his pride, because Alec needed him, which was far more important than being right.  _So silly_ , he thought.  Catarina waved her hand to open a portal, and led him through it. "I'll come with you.  There's still people injured I can help heal."

* * *

_Just my luck_ , Magnus thought when Jace was the first person he saw when he walked into the Institute.  Of course Alec would have told him what happened between them, so there was no way to avoid the protective _parabatai_ spiel.  He remembered the first "talk," when Jace said that he would never let anyone hurt Alec and get away with it.  It was touching, but  in the moment it was also annoying, since all Magnus wanted to do was see Alec.

"Unless it's actual Institute business, you can get the hell out of here," Jace said.  Magnus looked to Cat for help, but she had already headed off to the infirmary. "You're probably here to see Alec, though."

"I am.  Jace, I was wrong." Jace gave a cynical laugh, doubtful. "I was, I didn't know everything, and I was stupid enough not to just stop and listen.  I know you're protective of him, but I would never have done anything to hurt him on purpose, especially if I knew what happened to Max."

"I know," Jace admits with a sigh.  He looked like he was fighting a war in his head. "It's hard for me not to be protective of him.  Nephilim only love once, so you're it for him, you were always it.  As for Max, he hasn't stopped working for a second since it happened.  _I_ can't even get through to him."

Jace relented, and nodded.  Magnus started walking by but Jace grabbed his arm. "You have

"Breaking up with Alec is the worst thing I've done in a while.  But let me try to help him," Magnus pleaded. to help him.  He's so distant, and sad, like when we were teenagers.  He's been so much happier with you.  I'd rather he stay that way." Magnus nodded and smiled.

"Me too." 

* * *

 

It took Magnus a few minutes to build up the courage to knock on Alec's office door.  The fear of Alec rejecting him was almost too much to bear, but he wouldn't blame him.  Even if Alec didn't want to get back together with him, he would still try to help Alec through Mac's death no matter what.  He knocked. "Yeah?" Alec's voice came from inside.  He opened the door and leaned against it, not wanting to rush inside and overwhelm him.

Alec pursed his lips at seeing Magnus, leaning back in his chair. "What are you doing here?" Alec's voice was cynical, and it hurt Magnus to hear him talk that way.

"I came to apologize."

"Let me guess, Cat told you everything?  I should've known she would." Magnus nodded. "Look, I know I should have told you about the Soul Sword the second I found out, but but my dad and the Clave were putting me under so much pressure to keep it quiet."

"I know, Alec, it's okay, it's not your fault.  And Alec, I'm so sorry." Magnus walked further into the room and knelt by where Alec sat, grabbing his hands and looking into his eyes. "I was too quick to assume things.  I'm so sorry I betrayed your trust and made you feel like I wouldn't come to help with Max.  I would've come in a heartbeat, I swear.  Alexander, I love you, so much." Alec had to take a deep breath in at mention of Max.  Magnus reached up to cup Alec's cheek, his thumb ghosting over Alec's cheekbone.

"I was never mad at you, not really, I was just hurt and confused," Alec shook his head sadly. "And then Max-" Alec breath hitched and he had to swallow a sob, he squeezed his eyes shut.  Magnus's heart broke, and he leaned up to pull Alec' to his chest.  He didn't know if Alec was receptive to the hug, but he was so relieved to be this close to Alec again.  Alec rested his head on Magnus shoulder and held onto his shirt.

"Whether you forgive me or not, or get back together with me or not, you need to slow down, Alexander.  You can't keep going on all cylinders like this, you'll burn yourself out.  Let someone take care of you, even if it's not me," Magnus's voice was low, he brought a hand up to run it through Alec's hair.

Alec pulled back, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "I think it can be you," he said.  Magnus's heart leaped.

"Does that mean you'll take me back?" Magnus asked, his voice full of hope.  Alec nodded and leaned down to kiss Magnus.  Magnus smiled into the kiss, thinking how much he missed this, even if it had only been a day.  He pulled his lips away and brought Alec back into his arms.  They were both elated to be together, but the real world came rushing back to Alec after a moment.  Magnus felt Alec's shoulders begin to shake and his grip on Magnus's shirt intensified.  Magnus was sad, but he also felt relieved.  Alec probably hadn't let himself grieve Max at all yet, and he kept whispering into Alec's ear.  Just soft words, sweet things that would be forgotten later but that he hoped would help now.

"He's gone, Max," Alec sobbed.  Magnus led them to the couch in Alec's office and waved his hand to shut the door, giving them some privacy.

"I know, love, I know," he whispered. "It's okay." They stayed in that position for ten minutes, until Magnus pulled away to look at Alec's face.  He had tear tracks on his cheeks, and his eyes were red.  Of course, he had just been crying, but Magnus suspected it was also from exhaustion.  If what Jace said was true, he'd probably been awake and working since yesterday.  He could tell by the way Alec's shoulders slumped with exhaustion and how his movements were slow.  "It's getting late, you need to get some rest.  Why don't we go to my place?"

Alec nodded and kept his fingers tangled with Magnus's while they walked through the portal he had made.  They both changed their clothes and fell into bed.  Alec started crying again, finally allowing himself to mourn.  But Magnus held him close, comforting him until they both fell asleep.  Being together like this, intimately close and drawing comfort from one another, was the warmest either of them had felt in days.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos+comments appreciated. They're basically my life force when it comes to writing fics.


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